


Things My Parents Used To Do

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Bad Parents, Child Abuse, How Not To Be A Good Parent, Parents, Trigger Warning: Mentions of Mild Psychological/Physical Abuse, what not to do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:53:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23088865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Things I used to think were normal until I matured as an adult and realized were (at least) mild psychological and physical abuse.
Kudos: 1





	Things My Parents Used To Do

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of an angry rant. Please don't read if you have triggers for ths sort of thing.

Most of it was on my dad. He would:

  * Pull me and my siblings' hair
  * Ignore us to the point where someone could be screaming bloody murder and he would just get mad
  * Yell at us a lot
  * Threaten us



There's more, but most of it needs to be elaborated.

My mom wasn't really a part of it, but she didn't do anything to stop any of it either. She also was a victim, though, so she really isn't at a blame for this. HOWEVER. My DAD would:

  * Yell at her
  * Ignore her
  * Get mad if she happened to not have a certain food in the kitchen for him
  * Get mad if the house wasn't clean and blame her for it when we had a very large amount of kids
  * Call her names
  * Make fun of her



Again, there's more but it needs to be elaborated.

Hair-pulling might seem very mild, and it is, to a point. But my dad would grab our hair at the temple, wrap it around his fist, and pull us to our toes. It hurt like heck, but if we brought our hand up to make it hurt _less_ , he would yank it away and bring us higher to make it hurt _more_. While he told us whatever it was that he was telling us. Which, by the way, is quite similar to some mild angst I've read.

Ignorance is also not a huge issue. To a point. But, if someone was yelling in our house, he would get mad that we were disturbing his video game and come out to yank someone's hair. His first thought wouldn't be that something was wrong or that someone was on trouble, but that someone was causing trouble, like one of the kids.

I've had my own dad call me a little piece of sh** before. I fully expected him to apologize, but he never did and I knew that if I said or did anything about it, then I would just get in trouble. He called all my other siblings things like that too. He never tried solving any of these problems himself, just came out of his (locked) bedroom and yelled at us.

Threats. That was a big thing, at least from my point of view. He would threaten to cut/break our things (and actually did on some occasions) hit us with a belt, beat us, and he got creative, too, but I won't state exact quotes for personal privacy purposes.

There was an occasion where he grabbed the side of my hide to yank my hair and he did it so that it felt like a punch, but it also technically wasn't a punch. He once picked me up by my hair and slammed me against the wall. The first one was because I had screamed loudly, and I don't remember the reason for the second.

We never could say anything about it, either, because any amount of "sass" or "disrespect" would result in a giant hairpull which actually left bruises on our scalps sometimes. It literally felt like if we wanted to have an opinion, then we better keep it a secret, because if we disagreed with him then he would start ranting about why he was right and we were wrong, and if we interrupted or argued, then, guess what, hair pull.

Neglect is a better word for what he did sometimes, because he would tell everyone to clean and then he would go in his room and lock the door. Then he would expect us to solve all our problems on our own, and if we didn't have the house clean by the time he came out, he would get mad and yell.

If you are at a point where you're scared for your own physical safety when your own father is mad, even not directly at you, then he's clearly abusing you, no other words for it. If your parent(s) control you through fear and physical/emotional/verbal pain, they are not good larents and you don't have to respect them.

Your parents aren't always right, and it's very very important to always remember that, because it's taken me far too long to see my relationship with my parents for what it actually was.

My dad would yell at my mom and call her a bad parent, when really it was the other way around. He would lock her out of her own room and make her sleep on the couch so he could sleep when she had a month old baby. 

He would get mad if she didn't have everything ready for him when he wanted it. I didn't witness any physical abuse, but I don't know what happened behind closed doors.

At one point, I'm pretty sure I remember her crying because of something my dad said/did. I don't know if he ever apologized.

He believed he was always right no matter what, and if my mom disagreed, then he would treat her like a five-year-old and explain why he was right. Actually, five-year-olds still should be treated better than that.

This isn't to say my dad was always like this. He wasn't a drunk or anything like that, he just smoked a lot (WHICH HE BLEW IN OUR FACE BY THE WAY) and had an e-cig.

He brought us to the fair on a few occasions, and he had a boat that he would bring us in out on the lake. He would pull us on tubes, skis, and wakeboards. He made jokes with us and showed us some cool things and actually taught me a lot.

That doesn't make him not an abuser. It just made it harder to spot.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to elaborate, correct, or add. But if you try to downplay any of this, I swear I will fight you.


End file.
